I don't wanna be a ninja!
by speedo fannypacker
Summary: Four year-old Sasuke decides that he doesn't want to be a ninja. It's up to his older brother to change his mind! One-shot.


I don't what inspired me to write this story, but I'm going to go ahead and write it anyways.

**Trashcan Man **

A little boy about four years-old sat on the couch flipping through the channels nonchalantly not even bothering to watch what was on and repeatedly said, "Boring."

"Sasuke! Stop doing that you'll break the television **again**," his mother called from the kitchen.

Sasuke ignored her and continued to flip through the channels at a lightening fast speed. Since he was four years-old he had not started at the academy yet so he stayed home every day and did what all four year-olds do, wake up at 6 in the morning to watch sesame street!

And since sesame Street was over, little Sasuke was incredibly bored, so he decided it was time to go wake his brother up. He finally turned off the television and hopped off the couch.

"Mom I'm gonna go wake Itachi up!" he announced as he walked pass the kitchen.

"I don't think that's a very good idea Sasuke, honey, it's better to leave your brother alone, he's very busy right now," she tried changing his mind, "why don't you just go outside and play catch?"

"But I can't play catch unless there is somebody else with me!" Sasuke ignored his mother again and started up the stairs.

**Uchiha Itachi**

Uchiha Itachi had always been an early riser. But you wouldn't have known that since he stays in his room most of the morning and then head off to the ninja academy. Occasionally, he would come out to use the bathroom, or get a bite to eat, but that's all the family saw of him in the morning.

Well, that was until his little brother, Uchiha Sasuke, had been born. Since Itachi was Sasuke's roll model, Sasuke decided that every morning he would barge into Itachi's room and shout good morning at him. Sometimes that would come along with a hug.

Itachi hated hugs.

His parents don't even hug him.

But because this was his little brother he was dealing with he had to fight the urge to scream random cuss words at him and chuck him out the window.

His head turned towards the door as he heard his little brother stomping up the stairs.

He sighed.

Here it comes.

The door flew open as a little boy came flying into the room.

"Good morning Itachi!" Sasuke flung himself upon Itachi and hugged him as hard as he possibly could.

"Good morning Sasuke," Itachi said between clenched teeth.

"Since you don't have school today will you come play with me?" he put on that innocent face that was supposed to melt Itachi's heart.

"No." Itachi turned his head away.

"Pleaaaase?" Sasuke released his older brother's torso and begged.

"I'm busy Sasuke," he said.

"But you're not even doing anything in here! You're just sitting there!" Sasuke pointed out.

Well he does have a point.

But, that wasn't about to change Itachi's mind.

"Just leave," Itachi grabbed Sasuke by the collar and dragged him out of his room.

"Noooooo!" Sasuke kicked and screamed as he was pulled out of Itachi's room.

"Big meanie!" he shouted as the door was shut in his face.

Itachi rubbed his temples as he sat back down on his bed. Why? Why couldn't he have been an only child?

**Uchiha Sasuke**

Sasuke made a mental note to stop idolizing his big brother and find another roll model. But, who was there to follow? Until now Sasuke had never made any friends because he thought that his cool older brother was all he needed!

"I must get myself some friends!" he announced to nobody and ran off.

He found his mother who was still standing in the kitchen cooking, "Mom I need friends," he told her.

"Then you go ahead and make some," she continued to cook.

Now Sasuke, being four years-old took his mother seriously as his eyes widened, "You can _make_ friends? Like out a play doe! COOL!" he jumped up and down excitedly.

"No that's not what I…" she trailed off when she found that Sasuke had already ran off to find some play doe. "Oh my," she sighed.

Sasuke literally dove into his pile of toys and searched frantically for some play doe. He touched something squishy and grabbed a handful of it.

"Ahah!" he said triumphantly as he proceeded to make little men out of the doe.

**Uchiha Itachi**

Itachi sat at his desk and idly twirled his pencil around in his fingers frowning. He had a lot of think about, his future, chuunin exams, the whole baby brother deal. The thing that was bugging him the most was his little brother.

Uchiha Sasuke.

Alright, so he would admit Sasuke was not the brightest child but that didn't mean Itachi didn't care for him. Sasuke would usually put up more of a fight when Itachi told him to leave, what made today so different?

Maybe it was those cartoons he's been watching.

Rotting his brain.

Itachi had never gotten into the whole television thing when he was young so he watched his little brother in disgust as Sasuke hummed along with that song…

What was it called again?

Elmo song?

That the only conclusion he could come to since he had never really bothered to find out what the heck his little brother was watching.

Itachi rarely came out of his room actually, he preferred to say in his little sanctuary and contemplate. Well that was until his little brother came barging in and insisting that he play with him.

Well, Itachi decided that he had recently been too mean to his younger brother so he got up to go "play" with him. After he exited his room something soft and squishy came in contact of his face.

He frowned as he wiped it off.

Another one hit.

"GO! BOB! GO!" he heard his little brother holler at the top of his lungs.

"Sasuke…" Itachi said as calmly as he could. Then another one piece of play doe smacked his head and that was the last straw.

"Come over here," Itachi's eyes narrowed.

"Never!" Sasuke took one look at his brother and sprinted off. Unfortunately Sasuke wasn't exactly graceful so he tripped on the rug and fell flat on his face.

"Nice." Itachi thought to himself. He grimaced when Sasuke started to bawl.

"Crap," he muttered as he retreated back to his room.

He heard his mother come up stairs and say, "Sasuke! Honey, what's wrong?" he could just imagine her picking him up and rocking back and forth.

Pathetic.

And disgusting.

"I-it was Itachi!" Sasuke said between sniffles.

Great. Now Itachi was going to be scolded.

"Itachi!" his mother called from outside his door.

"What?" He said.

"Come out here this instant young man!" She smacked the door.

Itachi sighed as he reluctantly exited his room.

"What," he glared at his little brother.

"What did you do to Sasuke?" she eyed him wearily.

"Nothing." Itachi was about to turn back into his room when he mother snapped at him, "Where do you think your going young man?"

"Back into my room," he responded as quietly as he could.

"Not until you apologize to your brother," she threatened.

That was the last straw, "Mother! Please! I didn't do anything to him! I didn't even touch him it's not my fault the idiot fell on his face!" it all came out.

Oops.

Itachi didn't mean to make it sound that mean.

Oh well.

He opened his door and retreated back into his room.

Itachi sighed, mine as well go apologize to his brother, he heard his mother go back downstairs after telling his little brother to go off and play.

He opened his door once again and walked down the hall towards Sasuke's room.

**Uchha Sasuke**

Sasuke head snapped upwards as he found his older brother standing in the door way.

"Itachi?"

"What?"

"Why are you here…?"

"Am I not allowed in here," was his only reply.

"No…it's just…"

"Look I'm just going to cut to the chase, I'm sorry okay?" Itachi said as he turned to leave.

Sasuke grinned after those words left his older brothers mouth. "Kay!" he hopped off the bed and jumped on his older brothers back.

"Piggy back ride!" he shouted as he nuzzled his brother in the back.

"No."

"Pleaaaase?"

"Fine." Itachi gave in and proceeded to run around the house like an idiot, as his brother had the time of his life.

**The Show**

Sasuke decided that he was done with bothering his brother and decided that since it was almost four he would plop down on the couch and wait for sesame street to come on again.

There it was!

Sasuke started to sing along with the elmo song "Lalalala lalalala ELMO'S SONG!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"He wrote the music he wrote the words that's elmo's song!" he collapsed back onto the couch after his song.

Then his favorite character appeared.

That green fuzzy guy in the trashcan, Oscar!

"When I grow up I want to be just like him!" Sasuke said happily as the commercials came on.

His eyes widened when he saw what was before him, sesame street on ice, that was like the coolest thing **ever.**

"Moooooooooooooooooooooom!" He ran to his mother who was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Yes dear?"

"Will you take me to see sesame street on ice?" he pleaded.

"When?"

"Tomorrow night!" he gave her the puppy dog eyes.

"Alright, your father and I will talk it over tonight," she said to get him to go away. The truth was Sasuke's mother found it quite disturbing that her son was so attached to that television show.

"Yes!" Sasuke punched his fist in the air ran back to the tv.

**The Next Night **

"I can't believe you're making me go to this, I have training to do," Itachi grumbled as his little brother pulled him towards the ice rink.

"Mom and dad said they had something to do, and I'm too young to come here all by myself so you gotta take me!" Sasuke said.

"No, I don't your old enough to go three blocks by yourself," Itachi scowled. His parents came up with a lousy excuse not to take his overly hyper little brother to that show.

"We're here! We're here!" Sasuke shouted and ran off into the crowd.

"Sasuke? Sasuke!" Itachi panicked, if his parents found out that he had lost his little brother it would be his head.

"Look Itachi its elmo!" Itachi almost jumped out of his skin to find his little brother tugging on his shirt. "D-don't do that!" he scolded.

"All I did was tell you where Elmo was!" tears formed in his little brothers eyes.

"Okay, okay. I'm not mad," he said.

"Okie dokie then!" Sasuke dragged his older brother all the way to their seats and settled in.

"Look Itachi! Look! It's Oscar!" Sasuke bounced up and down in his seat.

"Who the heck is Oscar?" Itachi looked around.

"Only the coolest person ever!" Sasuke shouted.

Itachi was a bit offended that some furry animal in a trashcan had taken _his _spot as coolest person ever.

"Oh?" he arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah yeah see! He sits around in a trashcan all day acts grouchy and he gets paid for it too!" Sasuke's eyes almost bugged out as Oscar skated close to where they were sitting.

"Look at me Oscar!" he shrieked.

"I'm not related to him," Itachi stated as he tried moving away from Sasuke.

As if that wasn't enough humiliation Sasuke then asked his brother to allow him to sit in his lap so he could see Oscar.

"Sasuke! Get over it!" Itachi said.

"I can't! He's just so cool!" Sasuke squealed.

"Oh my god somebody kill me now…"

**The Next Morning**

"Mom! Mom! You should've seen it! It was the coolest thing **ever!**" Sasuke proceeded to tell his mother about his evening.

"That's nice dear," she nodded and continued reading the paper.

"And dad! Dad!" he continued.

"Yes son?" he asked just to humor Sasuke.

"There was this guy in a trashcan and his name was oscar and and .." Sasuke continued to talk as Itachi walked in.

"Well isn't this a surprise!" their mother said as she got up and got Itachi some breakfast.

Itachi didn't respond as he sat down and ate what his mother set in front of him.

"Itachi! Itachi! Would you come play soccer with me today?" Sasuke asked.

"Maybe, after I get back from the academy," Itachi answered.

"Okay!" Sasuke skipped off to do what four year-olds do.

"How are you son?" His father asked as casually as he could.

"I'm fine, but if you ever send me to one of those shows again I'm going to kill the whole clan," he grumbled.

(Isn't that a coincidence?)

"Your mother and I had plans for that night," he made up a lame excuse.

"Whatever,"Itachi stood up, and left.

**That Afternoon**

Itachi returned from the academy to find his little brother waiting patiently for him on the steps with his soccer ball.

"Ready?" he said as he set his bag down.

"You bet!" Sasuke stood up and drop kicked the ball as hard as he could.

Unfortunately that wasn't very hard so ended up falling on his butt.

Itachi rubbed his temples as he retrieved the ball.

The continued this pattern for a while as Sasuke asked questions.

"Is it hard being a ninja?" Sasuke asked as he punted the ball to his brother.

"Not really, you just have to try as hard as you can," Itachi answered as he kicked the ball back.

"I don't think I want to be a ninja," Sasuke stated casually.

Itachi almost tripped over the ball, "You don't want to be a ninja!"

"Of course not!" Sasuke stated happily.

"Sasuke you **have **to be a ninja," Itachi said angrily.

"No I don't!" Sasuke countered.

"Okay that's it I'm not playing with you anymore," Itachi said as he walked to the house.

"Nooo!" Sasuke latched himself onto his brother's leg, "Why do I have to be a ninja?"

"Well what do you want to be then?" Itachi said.

"A trashcan man!" Sasuke stated as he let go of Itachi's leg.

"Oh in that case…WAIT! You want to be a _trashcan man?_!" Itachi stared at his brother in disbelief.

"Yeah yeah like that guy from sesame street!" Sasuke imitated sitting in a trashcan.

"I don't believe this…" Itachi sighed as he grabbed his little brother by the collar and pulled him off the ground.

"Sasuke I'm going to teach you how to throw a shuriken," Itachi said as he pulled out a star.

"But I don't want to be a ninja!" Sasuke whined as he tried running away.

"Your going to be a ninja whether you like it or not! And there's not even a job called trashcan man!" Itachi growled.

He threw the shuriken as hard as he could and told his brother to follow.

To put it simply: Sasuke sucked.

"See! I told you I'd be a better trashcan man!" Sasuke whined.

"You're not going to be a trashcan man and that's final!" Itachi kicked the soccer ball in front of him so hard it hit the tree and snapped it in half.

Sasuke's eyes widened as he saw the damage his brother had caused. He decided he didn't want to end up like that tree so he decided to ditch his dream of being a trashcan man and just become a ninja.

"Itachi your scary," Sasuke backed away slowly, "I promise I'll be a ninja if you stop acting like this." Sasuke ran back into the house.

"That'll teach him," Itachi smirked.

**Dinner**

"So son, what do you plan to be when you grow up?" their father asked to break the ice. There wasn't actually anything to talk about, they usually at in silence.

"A trashcan man!"


End file.
